An Exercise in Contemplation

I'm an avid reader, and Goodreads is my favorite app for exploring new books and authors. I also tend to be quite a slow and careful reader (I make it through maaaaybe a book or two a month on average), so I am usually highly selective about my books, and I have no problem abandoning a book before I finish it if it hasn't captured me. Who has time for that?! Not me, Ms. Slowy McSlowReader!

My selective book vetting doesn't necessarily mean I have a discerning taste in books -- it just means that I like what I like. Sure, I read my (small) share of "high-brow" books, and my reading materials span a diverse range of genres, but darn it all if I get a hankering for some cheesy chick lit or low-common-denominator popular fiction, then I'll go ahead choose that sillier selection, and I'll do so without any hesitation or guilt.

One of the reasons I enjoy Goodreads is because of the reader reviews, and I often rely on those reviews as I vet my next book choice. While I've read many reviews, I've never written one of my own. Because the truth is, not only am I a slow reader, I'm a slow, ploddy writer too. Therefore, I just haven't wanted to mess with the time, energy and brain power it takes to crank out a decent book review. Plus, I generally don't want to risk sounding like an inarticulate, shallow-headed moron. Silly fears, perhaps -- especially since I never much care if I sound like an idiot here on the blog -- but real fears all the same.

All that said, I recently read an article that talked about the importance of contemplation as a means to fuel productivity and happiness.  One quote that stood out from the article is "The most productive and successful people tend to find ways to force themselves to think more deeply." Reading that article was a little bit of a wake-up call for me. Was I missing a greater sense of fulfillment by failing to take the time to reflect after finishing a book?

It didn't take long for me to answer that question with a big fat YES, yes I WAS missing out. Because, truth be told, lately I've been feeling quite a vacancy in the "fulfillment" and "meaning" buckets of my life (what else is new...oy). So, if taking a little reflection time to write a book review might help me to capture a tiny taste of contentment, no matter how fleeting, I decided it was worth the time and the risk of sounding like a simpleton.

Since reading that article, I've written not one, but TWO Goodreads reviews. I painfully (and embarrassingly) overthought my first rambling, lengthy review - especially considering it was a somewhat fluffy memoir about weight loss. The writing of my second review came much more freely and easily -- a brief reflection on a piece of historical fiction. Neither review is particularly deep or scholarly, however, if you are interested in reading them, you can check them out here and here.

Ultimately, the resulting end product of the written reviews isn't really the point at all. The point is, simply by partaking in the exercise of focused reflection and writing, I did somehow feel more connected, engaged and in-tune with myself and with world-at-large, if only for a limited time.

Of course, a contemplative practice need not be solely for the sake of crafting a book reviews. My writing here, after all, is one big deep think practice at purposefully digging beneath the surface, to work out my shiznit, and explore new angles and perspectives.  And given my continued struggle with finding and maintaining any sense of productive focus and sustained feelings of happiness, maybe it would be good for me to start challenging myself to do this contemplative writing thing with a little more discipline and frequency.

Challenge...accepted.
 

Friluftsliv...that "Free Air Life"

Norwegians embrace something called Friluftsliv (pronounced free -loofts-liv) which to the best of my understanding, means to be fully uplifted and enchanted by nature. The literal English translation of Friluftsliv is "free air life," but there is no single word in English to fully capture its essence and authentic meaning.

Friluftsliv seems to be considered a code of life and a way of being in Norway, and according to this article, this in-depth appreciation for and exploration of the world outdoors is even taught in "folk" high schools (though I'm not sure exactly what a "folk" high school is all about).

Last Sunday was an absolutely beautiful fall day here in Minne, with the colors peaking and the air still warm and inviting. I am the first to admit that I'm not the most at home in the great outdoors. Friluftsliv is not instinctual for me. I'm not one for bugs and dirt, and I have turned down invites to camp without a worry for what I might miss as I opted to stay at home with wine in hand while streaming Netflix. But I could not pass up a day outdoors last Sunday, breathing in fall with all of my senses, without a concern for clock time or my incomplete checklists of tasks and to dos. Time well spent need not be monitored.

So, I laced up my running shoes run the 10-mile path around the Chain of Lakes (#56 on my 2016 List), to capture some of the spirit of Minnesota Fall as best as my iPhone camera lens would allow, to let myself be completely captivated, curious, inspired and swept up by nature.

I took over 100 photos...and here are just a few of my favorites. An ode to Autumn. An attempt to walk the path of Friluftsliv, if only for a taste.

On the way to Lake Harriet near Dupont 

 A fenceline on the way to Lake Harriet


 The last stretch before the Lake Harriet ped and bike path

Lake Harriet, with some of the MPLS skyline peaking through


Lake Harriet

Lake Calhoun pedestrian path

An Isle in the Lake of the Isles

Colorful branches shade the Lake of the Isles

 Lake of the Isles lilypads 

Lake Calhoun

More fall foliage along Lake Harriet

   Lake Harriet ped and bike paths

The American Dream

For those who know me personally, you may know that earlier this year, B and I bought a house. I am immensely proud of this, an "American Dream" type of milestone that, for a while, I thought I could never reach. As a long-time, self-proclaimed homebody, home ownership is the single element of the American dream that I have most wanted to make a part of my reality.

A decade ago I was living in expensive Chicago and trying to enjoy my young, urban life, doing my best to decompress from 60+ hour work weeks, while trying (and failing) to keep my head above the waves of my personal debt, waves that had been ripping and swelling since I turned 18.

Although I had a job and a career that paid decently, I was always playing 'catch up' with my credit card bills, car payment, cell phone and utility bills, and chipping away that effing expensive student loan, the loan that made for damn certain I would start my adult life in 5 figure debt. My credit rating was pretty deplorable, like a D grade or something, and I think the only reason it wasn't totally flushed down the toilet was because I paid that damn student loan on time each and every month, the only bill I managed to never pay late thanks to auto pay, my only financial saving grace.

At this time in my life, several of my friends were starting that very grownup journey of buying their first homes, either with their life partner or completely on their own. Given my frustrating financial situation, I resigned myself to the looming reality that homeownership was likely never going to be in the cards for me, not with my ocean of debt and my difficulty reigning it in. I was envious of my monetarily stable friends, and shameful of my financial failures.

Still, I never threw in the towel on eventually getting my financial game on track. I finally got fed up enough with juggling my debt, so I read some books on personal finance, and I set up a strict monthly budget and excel spreadsheet to track my expenditures (it's actually the same spreadsheet that I still use today -- I tried Mint.com, but I am better with a more 'old school', self tracking approach). I scaled back on 'extras' and immediate gratification purchases, putting that saved money toward paying off each of my debts, one at a time (Thank you, Dave Ramsey and the Debt Snowball Method!). I started setting aside the tiniest amount of savings each month. Getting out of the red and into the black was my laser focus, and would be for the next few years. It sounds a lot easier than it actually was.

And then finally, a few years later, homeownership started to seem like not such an 'out of reach' idea after all. I had practically eliminated my credit card debt and car payment. I was still on track with that student loan (that I finally paid off not too long ago), and I even had some legit savings.

I'm proud that I cleared my personal debt, born from a combination of my young, stupid mistakes and sheer, unavoidable necessity. It took sacrifice, it took planning, it took hard work and sticking to my demanding (but ultimately well-paying) career path, and it took time (years!), but I persevered. I can't imagine if I'd be able to do it if I were graduating from college today, with the ever inflating cost of education, or if I had chosen a different, if not more noble career path, like public service or the arts. But, that's a completely separate topic, and one where I have MANY strong opinions.

Fast forward to today, and my financial life (and pretty much my whole life) is a different story. Now living in Minne, I'd describe my living situation as 'urban light' and the cost of living is much more sustainable than Chicago (but it's still a bigger city...). My survival budgeting and money saving practices born in Chicago days have become long-term, indestructible habits. B and I were able to pay up front and out of pocket for our very classy (IMO) wedding soiree in 2014, and last year I was even able to take a small break from the necessity of the 'corporate hustle' to re-evaluate my interests and goals (and perhaps surprisingly, it turns out I actually like a lot of aspects of the 'corporate hustle' and it's nice to discover that on my terms versus financial necessity). All the while, I saved funds to pool with Bs to put toward a down payment on the house we purchased together earlier this year.

My home. My little piece of the American Dream, one that I am so thankful to have, and that I will not take for granted.

Welcome to our house!

Closing day (2 days after my 36th! birthday!)

And...I even planted that little potted herb garden that I wanted so much. Next year we're expanding our 'farming' to include tomatoes and other veggies.

"Herbalicious!" Nothing smokable here, just basil, mint, rosemary & parsley.

And, don't get me started on the laundry list of cool house projects (mostly outdoor given the warmer months) that B has taken on! Turns out my husband is a pretty handy fellow, lucky (braggy) me!

Our outdoor movie projection screen. It's going to get a big work out this football season!

Our new firepit, designed and installed by B. S'mores, anyone?


B's first major project as a homeowner - staining the deck, matey's!