The Small Stuff

I'm going to cut to the chase...it's been a rough summer.

This is a personal blog, so I'm going to talk specifically about one of my own, individual challenges. The small stuff, if you will. I acknowledge that my personal challenges seem petty, pale and insignificant in comparison to the pain, suffering and injustices happening to people all over the world.

At the end of the school year, I was laid off from my guidance counseling assistant job and the school that I so thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated. In more specific terms, I was "bumped," which I guess softens the blow a little, because I know that the people I worked for valued my hard work and abilities and did not want to see me permanently pack up my office and leave.

Last year I left my job on my terms, ready to leap into the unknown, eager for change and excited for the possibilities. This year,  I left on someone else's terms...the motivation that revved me up last year is harder to muster up...and right now I'm feeling a bit adrift.

Adrift...but not hopeless. I've learned a lot about myself this past year and that I am more resilient and capable of change than I previously thought. I know that eventually I will find my way. I have some ideas on my next steps, and now it's a simple matter of choosing one rabbit to chase."One foot in front of the other." It's time to move forward.

But that's just the small stuff...

"The List" 2015

The List: 2015 Edition is a compilation of 100 things that I have not done before (or haven't done in recent years), but would love to accomplish in my lifetime. This is my 2nd go-round at list tackling. I compiled my inaugural list of 100 Things in 2013, and I decided to continue chipping away at the same list for 2014 as well. I am happy to report that I met my 2013/2014 goal of completing all 25 items. However, I was a little bit sloppy about staying on task to report my success in a timely manner, and thus had to fall back on a couple of short and sweet compilation entries, and you can check those out here and here. Still, I'm proud of my accomplishments, and I'm excited to tackle a new list!

My 2015 list contains some items rolled over from the inaugural list and didn't check off originally, but for the most part it's an all-around re-haul, modified according to my current aspirations, tastes and interests. I also reserve the right to add "bonus" items on top of my 100 things, should the spirit so move me.

"The List" was inspired by my friend MK, who was, in turn, inspired by a friend of hers. MK has described her own list experience as life changing, and I am in awe of what she has completed. In fact, she's about to embark on year 5!!! of list tackling, certainly a testament to the power and inspiration the list can kindle.

I've now experienced the power of list tackling for myself, and I have discovered a lot about myself and what's important to me as I've chipped away at some of my previous list goals over the past 2 years. I am excited to continue down my path of self-discovery, and my goal for 2015 is to complete 13 or more items from the 2015 list. Why 13? I'll answer that question with another question -- why NOT 13? One per month on avg, with an extra for luck. Sounds good enough to me, time to get cracking!

1. Take a trip to Boundary Waters
2. Go to the symphony
3. Make scallops
4. Take a Spanish class
5. Take a knife skills cooking class
6. Snowshoe
7. Attend the Twin Cities Jazz Festival
8. Organize/compile B and my wedding memories (photos, mementos, etc.)
9. Organize/compile memories from B and my 2013 Italy trip (photos, mementos, etc.)
10. Visit Croatia
11. Make Grits
12. Step up my investment game with the help of a professional Financial Advisor
13. Read (or re-read) 3 Shakespeare plays: a Tragedy, a Comedy, and a History
14. Go Vegetarian for two weeks
15. Visit the Minnesota Institute of Arts (MIA)
16. Vegas Baby! And do it UP! (e.g. go VIP somewhere and get a poolside cabana)
17. Vacation in the Philippines (possibly visit: Manila, Borocay Island, Honda Bay)
18. Visit a butterfly house
19. Shark dive
20. Write a Goodreads book review
21. Go to an NFL game
22. Take an "edu-tourism" trip
23. Relive B and my first date in Chicago
24. See a comedian perform live - someone who I haven't seen perform live in the past
25. Play Trivia at Brits
26. Volunteer to help with a race
27. Participate in a Drum Circle
28. Try the Special Edition French Toast Crunch cereal
29. Special order Rice Krispies Treats Cereal (aka the best cereal of all time! Sorry GM...)
30. Make homemade limoncello
31. Golf 18 holes
32. Get a kitty photo featured on the #CatsofInstagram photostream
33. Walk 10,000+ steps a day for a consecutive 30 days
34. Take a Khan Academy class
35. See the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree
36. Order a whole lobster at a restaurant
37. Blog “consistently” (average 1+ entry a week for at least 12 weeks)
38. Create an update of my strangely popular "Texas Snappy Casual" blog post - with link to a supplemental Pinterest Pin board (50+ pins)
39. Take a cross country ski lesson
40. Participate in the Loppet XC Ski race
41. Take a Montana Ski Trip
42. Join a mail-order wine club
43. Plant an herb garden
44. Read the Diary of Anne Frank (I can't believe I've never read it!)
45. Make ravioli from scratch
46. Get professional (but fun) head shots taken
47. Take a creative writing class
48. Find a family ancestral relationship to someone famous, living or dead
49. Hold plank for 5 minutes
50. Get back into boxing (for fitness) - take a class or work with a trainer for 6+ weeks
51. Complete a wine professional certification program
52. Run a destination race (any distance 10K or greater, at least 50 miles from Minneapolis)
53. Visit a lavender farm
54, Volunteer in some kind of mentoring program
55. Wear a two piece bathing suit
56. Run around all 3 lakes in the chain at once (Harriett, Calhoun, Isles)
57. Ride a ride at the Minnesota state fair
58. Reread the original Harry Potter series
59. Dye my hair a crazy color
60. Participate in a pin-up photo shoot
61. Buy something at a Farmer's Market
62. Try an "expensive" ($100+) Champagne (e.g. Dom, Cristal)
63. Go on a holiday light tour
64. Rank #1 on my Fitbit friends list for a week
65. Upcycle my mom’s old jewelry box
66. Get 'nail art' done on my fingernails and/or toenails
67. Yoga Headstand
68. Try acupuncture
69. Get my antique ring appraised
70. Somehow help MK achieve one of her 52 New (And get a mention on her "thank you" list!)
71. Vacation in Maui
72. Snorkel
73. Go to a luau
74. Travel the Road to Hana
75. Swim with sea turtles
76. Buy a house
77. Volunteer as an animal socializer
78. Attend a Summer beer fest in MN
79. Visit a Minnesota winery
80. Buy coffee for a stranger
81. Visit a new winery in CA
82. Post #100happydays photos for 100 days (duh) on Instagram (inspired by my friend LM)
83. Go TV free for a week
84. Visit Portland, OR
85. Refinish a piece of furniture
86. Start an Etsy type business
87. Go on a "girls weekend" with my mom and sister
88. Lose 25 lbs
89. Take a Wine and Canvas/Paint and Sip Class
90. Volunteer in a foreign country
91. Post something inspiring on a public bulletin board
92. Trip to DC
93. Run another marathon (The last (and only) one I ran was in my twenties in '03...time to run one in my thirties!)
94. Buy a pair of cowboy boots (preferably in TX)
95. Participate in a Zombie Race
96. Get a cactus
97. Spend a night on the town in St. Paul
98. Learn how to saber champagne
99. create a champagne/sparkling wine cage art piece
100. Run RAGNAR

BONUS Items

101. Try Curling
102. Try aerial yoga
103. Go on a Yoga Retreat
104. Go whale watching
105. Go ziplining

Self Care & Self Reflection

Three months ago, I took the first steps down an entirely new career path when I accepted a guidance counseling assistant position at a public school in St. Paul. Specifically, I oversee the standardized testing that occurs at our school, I manage student records, and I even have the opportunity to advise students on certain topics -- but I'm not a licensed counselor, so my opportunities in that realm are a bit more limited.

My past three months working in education have been an incredibly fulfilling and enlightening experience.  My position provides me with a looking glass into several directions I could potentially pursue if I ultimately decide to build a long-term career in education. I've had people ask if I plan to someday become a licensed counselor, or would I ever want to consider teaching and get a teaching licence, or perhaps I might eventually pursue a position at a district level versus supporting a specific school, or maybe even venture into political pursuits or policy making that focus on education improvement (I do have many thoughts on testing now!). And yes, I've let my mind wander and ponder what each of these paths could look like. But, it's all a bit premature, given I'm so completely new to this world and I have a lot to learn.

However, for now, I'm trying to focus on my current responsibilities and do them to the best of my abilities without getting too swept up in the excitement and stress of identifying the next big achievement goal. A key lesson from my career pause, after all, is to stay present in the "here-and-now", to live fully in each moment without getting too caught up in a specific narrative. It can be fun to dream, sure, but I have a tendency to get swept up in those dreams only to then to inject unreasonably high expectations and stress so that those dreams shift into more of a nightmarish territory.

It's not always easy to stay present, and I do find that now that I'm working full time again, I fall victim to some of my old and exhausting habits. My perfectionist inclinations and my inner control freak have followed me into my new career path. Those traits did not magically disappear just because I left the "high powered" world of corporate strategy and consulting. However, now I am much better about catching myself when these tendencies surface, and guide myself to a gentler, more caring state of mind.

In December, just before I started my new job, I chose to end my "career time out" with a Yoga retreat to Tulum, MX with my yoga studio. For 5 days, I had the incredible gift to practice self-care in an epic, inspiring, natural paradise, to reflect upon the big risk that I took when I left my job and finally allowed myself to imagine a very different sort of life, and redefine what "success" means for me (hint: it's not about "stuff" or income brackets).

Returning to that state of mind that I captured during my time off and during the Yoga retreat helps me to reconnect with my true intentions for the kind of life I want to live and the person I want to be. When I find the stress kicking up and the worry sinking in, I remind myself to "float down the river", to embrace the ambiguity and transition, and to relish in each messy, beautiful, chaotic, glorious moment.

Seaside Selfie. 
 Lighter in mind, body (by more than 25# at the time this photo was taken...even more now!) and spirit than when I first left my  job at the end of May, 2015.

Easy breezy beach side in Mexico.

Here I am, climbing a Mayan Ruin.

I captured this majestic sunrise my last morning in Tulum. 
What a perfect way to end one chapter, and begin another.