Cocktail Party

Recently, I was asked what my most impressive cocktail party line about myself would be. I was caught with my pants down on that one, and had no idea what to say. Pants down metaphorically. Not literally. I have a lot of weight left to lose before that's going to happen.

Anyway, I've had a bit of time to ponder, and came up with what I think is a range of highly interesting (and of course highly appropriate) factoids about myself to help spark conversation with potential new friends and contacts. They are all true, and now all I have to do is choose the best. Not sure how I'm going to do that- all of these are such winners! Anyway, here goes...

“I can do an impressive wild turkey call.”

“I am fluent in pig-latin.”

“I once played Whirly ball with Jason Mraz...ok, well not him, but his roadies.”

“In 2003, I met Jeff Timmons, member of the boy band 98 degrees, and did you know he is extremely short in real life? ”

“I’ve shared multiple elevator rides with David Copperfield.”

“I once hired an animal psychic to do a reading on my cats.”

“Turns out, my bologna has a first name.”

“I used to be in a band. Marching band.”

“My first CD was ‘The Sign’ by Ace of Base."

“I am known far and wide for my dead-on geese, rat, and giraffe impressions."

“My porn star name is ‘Misty Brookmoor.’ You know, where you combine your first pet’s name with the street you grew up… ok…never mind.”

“I once spilled a drink on Ryder Strong, of ‘Boy Meets World’ fame.”

“I know people who know people.”

“When I was a kid, I took comp-ed trips to Vegas. That's how I rolled when I was six.”

“I have an ancestor named Benona. No, not ‘Banana’; 'Benona.'”

“I may or may not know all the lyrics to ‘Baby Got Back.’”

“I have an irrational fear of bull sharks. They can survive in fresh water. In fact, there is a documented case of a bull shark that was caught in Lake Michigan. Maybe my fear isn’t so irrational after all, eh?”

“I’m a forceps baby.”

“Wanna hear me crack my jaw?”